2 months ago
I feel nothing
I feel everything.
I don’t know which is worse.
»2 am thoughts  (via melisica)
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Becoming a cold hearted bitch wasn’t really what I planned to do with my life but here I am

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All my life I’ve had people tell me;
“You’re 16. What do you know?
You don’t pay taxes.
You don’t pay bills or a mortgage.
You don’t worry about having a job.
You don’t have mouths to feed.”

You’re right.
I’m only 16.
But at the age of 13 I was already contemplating suicide.
At the age of 13 I was relentlessly told how ugly, fat, and untalented I was.
How I would never amount to anything.

At 15 I held a bottle of pills in my hands several times a week.
At 15 my parents fought so loudly the whole house would shake.
At 15 I started telling myself how fat and worthless I was.
At 15 I stopped eating for two months.

By the age of 16 my thighs were covered in battle scars.
At 16 I learned what it was like to pray every night that I wouldn’t wake up to see the sun.
At 16 I swallowed a bottle of pills and had my stomach pumped in the middle 3rd period.
At 16 I woke up in a hospital and crying and screaming because I wasn’t dead.
At 16 I was told my depression and anxiety were just cries for attention.
At 16 I learned what it was like to feel the rejection from the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally.
I learned what it was like to feel the love my parents used to have for me drain out of their eyes.

So I maybe 16 but I feel like I am a thousand years old. I have fought battles you cannot even begin to imagine.

I have endured years of relentless torment and taunts, and when I asked for help I was told I deserved it.

I may be 16 but I have endured more than you ever have in your 36 years of life.

So I may not have to pay taxes.
But at 16 I have anxiety attacks over the piles of homework I have to turn in the next day.

I may not have to worry about feeding my kids.
but even after 2 years of rehabilitation I still get depressed if I eat too much.

So you tell me;
“You’re 16. What do you know?”
And my answer will always be;
“Far too much”

»Sorry. this was a rant.  (via thetalkingcigarette)
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2 months ago
2 months ago
What does this mean for the world? I guess it means that things can happen like a man divorcing his wife because she produced an ugly child. If you look at it in a certain light, it almost seems justifiable; he just wanted his daughter to be successful like any parent, and according to the research being attractive is highly correlated with success– which is not to say that that’s right. Is a kind of world that condones—nay—encourages the exaltation of physical attractiveness a world we want to live in? Look at the ramifications this has for social structure, creating a whole new hegemonic dichotomy—attractive and unattractive. However, our apparent superficiality is so ingrained that we barely even think about it anymore. When a friend set me up on a date, the first question I asked was, “Is he cute?” And I don’t consider myself all that terribly vapid; I mean, I’m vapid enough, but not Narcissus. »

Is “Pretty” Preferable? What the Hell, Society?

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3 months ago
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